Paul Poteet Dot Com » The Paul & Tom Show

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #206

Paul — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:27:23 +0000

This one starts with a case of the Mondays, & moves on to “Minaj,” who eventually is compared to the Perfect Egg Spatula.

Tom lavishes praise on Paul, who feels this might mean he is about to die Paul explains what a “tedious T” is, and Tom fondly recalls a few of his favorite shoes.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I like to get dressed up.”
“I keep all my treats in my bra.”
“Last night my wife kicked me out of the bed.”
“I’ve worked w/thousands of people, and only two are better than me.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #205

Paul — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 03:55:58 +0000

This episode opens with a Love Theme just in time for Valentines Day. Tom’s kinda sweet on Rob Lowe. (BTW: Paul’s older man is Robert Wagner.) Tom is down to three friends, and none of them appreciate his preference for synthesized music of the 80′s. Speaking of the 80′s: a little more halftime Madonna talk. Plus we discuss Tom’s Super Bowl Of Speeding Tickets, and the price he’s paying now.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Why am I reading about cocaine? I got a speeding ticket!”
“The guy on the bouncy wire thing–i have no idea what THAT was.”
“There’s no reason for you to be driving one of those Iaccoca nightmares in 2012.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #204

Paul — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:25:27 +0000

After a SUPER long absence, the boys are back with post-game analysis that you haven’t heard anywhere else. Paul fought the crowds and Tom fought the law. And the law won?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Would you lmfao at lmfao?”
“You need to be paying for them babies.”
“For once in my life i kinda wanted to be included in something.”
“This is WALTER white trash…you soon you will have nothing to live for.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #203

Paul — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:50:40 +0000

P&T=DIY? LOL. Tom isn’t wired right himself, so how can you expect him to fiddle with fuses? And what is causing that smell? This house has some issues. Like the temperature. Some like it hot, but Tom does not. At least not when it’s thermostat time.

Paul gets HIS Frugal on from using gift cards. Neither is as rich as Victor Newman, not that there’s anything wrong with two men talking about Victor Newman.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“As usual this was my wife’s fault.”
“My Dad took the juice a few times.”
“I’ve smelled it, ladies and gentlemen.”
“The house nearly burnt to the ground.”
“I had to find a balance between freezing my family and heating my family.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #202

Paul — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 00:16:10 +0000

SOPA and PIPA, and KODAK, oh my! The boys put some recent hi-tech topics through the conversational meat grinder. The copyrighted result shouldn’t harm national security, but it might not sit well with the stars of TV Land’s new sitcoms. Speaking of TV Land, we learn Hugh Downs doesn’t go with Joan Lunden, but Mike goes with Molly, and Betty White goes with everything. BONUS: Paul uses “meme” in a sentence, and Tom does a cartoon voice.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Have you sampled the Brian Williams?”
“I’m not for any regulation whatsoever. OF ANYTHING.”
“You know as much about Mike Ahern as you do about linebackers.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #201

Paul — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:03:47 +0000

Some stories from the Road, including the amazing thing that Paul and Mrs. Poteet heard in their hotel room during a recent week in Florida. These days Paul’s too good for iceberg and croutons, but in his Salad Days he slummed it at Sambo’s and Stuckey’s. Tom tosses in some Shoney’s stories.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Have you tried the leeches?”
“Is it bad that I’m proud of my vomit streak?”
“Is this a tandem jump through your intestines?”
“The problem with the buffet is temperature maintenance.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #200

Paul — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:36:02 +0000

Show #200! It begins with the lead-in to Show #1. But there’s no going back. Paul & Tom go forward. Into a world of robot housekeepers.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“So you had a cleaning caucus?”
“I recently had a gift card episode.”
“I like my sauce like I like my wine.”
“Is the cook at Olive Garden a chef?”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #199

Paul — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 11:45:11 +0000

Tom insists Madonna is still in Vogue and launches a spirited defense of the Material Girl’s upcoming half time gig. Paul’s ok with anyone but Black Eyed Peas, & blames Madonna for the culture of Reality Celebrities. Tom fingers Kato Kaelin.

Also: Tom reveals how to use your baby to detect creeps.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Prince is the Man!”
“She’s Lilly Munster.”
“Dogs can sniff out terminators.”
“Her in her panties…like, all muscular.”
“How could anybody just turn their back on Madonna like that?”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #198

Paul — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 12:54:17 +0000

When was the last time you cleaned off the elevator buttons where you work? Riiiight. But Tom Davis is cut from a different, hypo-allergenic cloth. Aerosmith found Love In An Elevator. Tom found a Yuppie from the 7th floor.

We discover Paul *does* get a little hate mail from time to time, but it seems to be weather related. He may end up hearing from Chaz Bono after reading the story of Warren Beatty’s transgendered son (we’re not making this up) dissing the Dancer. It gets really complicated. Hold on tight. And the same goes for surviving “quicksand.” Paul also has a story about a guy who got out of it just fine…just like (as Tom notes) “Bo” did on that one episode of “Days Of Our Lives.”

Got all that? Ladies and Gentlemen (and The Rest): Start your comedy engines!

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I’m a terrible hand model.”
“I have a variety of wipes.”
“Six more inches of sand today.”
“I’m in the elevator and I notice the buttons are especially grimy.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #197

Paul — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:00:20 +0000

The boys have the list of the saddest cities in the country. TRAFFIC NOTE: This audio trip around the country takes a few detours. Tom trashes Cruisers, finds Scientologists (yet again), and pans the Arch. Paul’s had a busy life on the road. A long drive with a fellow weatherman, interstate gun play, and of course, the ostrich story. Or was it a kangaroo?

RANDOM QUOTES
“He’s the Chief Meteorologist–you’ve got to let him drive.”
“It’s a monument built to the hopes and prayers of losers.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #196

Paul — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 02:37:56 +0000

Tom fought the law and the law won. SEVERAL times lately. It couldn’t happen again. Or could it? It all starts with the inability to end a modern phone call with a slam. It ends with a Honda rear end, and Paul saying Tom is not only not an excellent driver…he’s not an excellent anything. Blame it on the Gerbil Wheel Of Doom.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“One of my friends is really into Andy Rooney.”
“You’re like the Tipper Gore of the 21st century.”
“She’s afraid you’re gonna kill her–you’re gonna finish the job.”
“Anybody’s who gonna be ahead of you on the highway needs to be a medical professional.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #195

Paul — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 04:26:14 +0000

Tom admits there’s something about a funeral that appeals to him. Paul wants to know if Funeral Fights are as common in real life as they are on television soap operas. And who hasn’t noticed the Funeral Smell? Plus: Tom’s Jock Rant re-surfaces once Paul passes on the story of the Naked Baller.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“You’re a gladiator.”
“We’re at death’s door again on this show.”
“I can out-funeral any of you who are listening.”
“It’s the same smell you get when you walk into Michael’s.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #194

Paul — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 20:24:44 +0000

Tom is a car guy without a car. Or at least, the RIGHT car. He wants to spend money he doesn’t have on a car he can’t afford.

It may be ironic that the pursuit of a different car leads to another pursuit involving his current car.

Listen and learn how Prosecutor Paul opens up a branch of the Tom Davis (III) School Of Defensive Driving. We learn that Tom’s guilty, but he has his reasons. And that he has memorized tire ratings. The episode also features a cameo appearance by the “Fivers” drive-thru restaurant concept.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“It’s been arrest after arrest after arrest.”
“Leaf spring suspensions on Buick Skylarks.”
“I have never in my life been pulled over in the rain.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #193

Paul — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 03:42:58 +0000

It’s The Vasectomy Monologues, Part Two. Tom pops some pills, drops some trou, and stops some swelling…eventually.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I got fixed…be nice to me.”
“Was it a direct deposit into the container?”
“You’d think being a Ferrari mechanic would be cool.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #192

Paul — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 03:34:33 +0000

It’s been a really, really messed up week. Paul is sore because of a half marathon. He explains the race’s two big surprises. Meanwhile, Tom is gonna be sore after standing naked in front of a stranger in a “George Reeves Pose.” Long story. Well, at least half an hour long.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Why don’t we Occupy RTV?”
“Some guys, their scrotums are up in their necks.”
“All of a sudden I’m getting Gatorade from one of the Todd’s.”
“We’re not longer shipping catsup with the flavor packet intact.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #191

Paul — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:20:27 +0000

Tom thinks Paul is hiding himself from himself, and so maybe his life is just a little too easy. Paul quotes Paul Simon and does Dylan. Tom thinks he has more Street Cred than Paul.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Don’t blame me for your failure to peel!”
“I’m quite comfortable with my mental state, unlike some people.”
“He’s joined everyone else in Hell and he’s going to have to change his strategies.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #190

Paul — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 02:06:37 +0000

Paul has stuffed his own fruit before, but Tom won’t clip his own cocker. And when did Tom get older than Paul? And (thanks to the Good Feet Store) this may be first episode where Paul talks toes more than Tom. Nothing will ever be the same again.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“All there is…is politics and fighting.”
“The dog is stupid–the dog has no brains.”
“Do you have it in your crawl space right now?”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #189

Paul — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:29:21 +0000

Here’s the thing: Tom finds himself hiding from people. In the bathroom, or in the elevator, small talk looms large. But he will still go with Paul.

Also: the debut of “Let’s Make Tom Davis Laugh” with your host Paul Poteet. And, more than you need to know about super hero movies, horseshoes, and Gumby.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“She’s lilly-white, and I mean that.”
“It was the Fish Girl that was blue.”
“It’s rife with lawyer-ly possibilities.”
“The other day I was having a conversation about boots with someone.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #188

Paul — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:27:28 +0000

Tom takes his daughter to the doctor. Maybe it’s his fault. Paul already took his foot to the doctor – now he’s going to a store. (It’s heredity’s fault.) Who woulda thought of the two, PAUL would end up at a potential foot spokesman? Paul also has more Advice For Young Parents, including the surprising reason Moms and Dads should stay together when they have kids.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Hey hippies! That doesn’t work.”
“In my house there are many rooms.”
“Diabetes…diapers…that’s your life.”
“It’s not a shoe tree, it’s a shoe chest!”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #187

Paul — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 02:37:28 +0000

Tom learned about the 60′s & 70′s at an Oldies radio station. Paul learned DURING the 60′s & 70s. Together, they Sing Off one of your 60′s favorites, in a rare duet. Episode 187 also features the best mix of the 80′s, which Tom learned about from a Retro station. MC Poteet always has the widest variety. Just this weekend he hosted events with Cabaret and Pakistani music. Meanwhile, Tom hosted a testy off-air segment with a caller to his current radio station, where they don’t play any music.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“When somebody says 70′s it’s like somebody farted.”
“I’ll come out and say it. I’m tired of the Auto-Tune.”
“You can tell the measure of a man by what flusters him.”
“I’ve got this blind guy and he won’t leave me the hell alone.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #186

Paul — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 21:45:46 +0000

Paul & Tom protest protestors, and Occupy Your Ears with Fast & Furious talk about Paul’s gimpy foot, Tom’s emo jeans, and Don Lapre’s Tiny Classified Ads.

As always, you are left with Tough Questions: Is Paul too good for “Raising Hope?” Why does Tom despise NordicTrack? What is Paul running FROM? Can Tom please repeat his pant size AGAIN?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Must be the Vicodin.”
“Maybe its the fact we really don’t love each other.”
“They’re walking by looking at my butt crack and snickering.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #185

Paul — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 14:13:23 +0000

The last thing Tom wants to hear about is Paul’s upcoming trip to the podiatrist. It triggers the whole thing with the… feet, which is never far from Tom’s head, which makes him very flexible. Tom gives Paul a pre-podiatrist check list.

Paul gives Tom his theory about what makes the girl next door the “girl next door.” Tom doesn’t have a girl next door, he has a Police Department next door that is sadly in the middle of a huge news story this week. That story has put Tom back in the company of TV news people, and he thinks he measures up well in the looks department.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“You’re shoving shards of cotton between your toes.”
“I don’t care what a podiatrist makes–it is not worth it.”
“Am i really going to spend my best looking years doing radio?”
“How many times have you walked through those multi-chambered dressing rooms?”

SPONSORED by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding!

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #184

Paul — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 19:12:34 +0000

Paul & Tom believe in Free Markets, and Flea Markets. Tom Davis reports from “The Sale Barn” for episode #184. And finds his beloved Time-Life series of UFO-ish books! Those infomercial memories spur some Dianetics talk. We didn’t/don’t buy it. We’re also not believing in the “psychic workout” guy who does “distance healing.” Also: the difference between being happy and being satisfied, and is there any difference between Miss Cleo and a TV News Consultant?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“She can’t cook and she’s got a brown thumb.”
“I despise the dog whisperer and I’ll tell you why!”
“You have to get up early to really get the full flea market effect.”
“Read Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard. It’s the owner’s manual for the human mind.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #183

Paul — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 22:18:41 +0000

P&T have a New Fall Format, just like Facebook! Listen to the first two minutes and let us know how ya like it. Then: Tom is suffering computer buyer’s remorse, and gets in the return line behind a woman with *relative’s* remorse. Cliffhanger: will Tom have to pay the restocking fee?

Then it’s off to the Labor/Delivery Room. Paul doesn’t agree with Tom’s main memory of childbirth: “chaos & liquids.” This leads to the discovery of a very specialized occupation… Professional Placenta Preparer. You’ll laugh. You’ll wince.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Everything is stained during that. Every time you turn around, something is red.”
“I know that you’re pretending now to have interest in me, much like everyone else.”
“I’m laying down on the psychiatrist’s couch trying to forget this episode ever happened.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #182

Paul — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 02:38:24 +0000

The Facebook Format is Topic A of P&T #182. Tom is the King Of All Anti-Social Media, & these latest FB changes have him re-evaluating everything digital. And that means a trip to the computer store. Will he bite?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I expected more.”
“Maybe that’s what you really smell like.”
“I’m a 65 year old man in a 31 year old body.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #181

Paul — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:13:35 +0000

This is the first show of our second year of Internet Radio-ing, so we included a flashback to the very beginning of Episode 1 at the start. It’s in black & white. After the anniversary, Topic A is “date night” with well-known romantic Tom Davis & his wife. You KNOW that’s gonna break bad, even before the first Cheddar Bay Biscuit is broken.

Also: how far would you go to save your pet, pal? Paul reveals what’s wrong with one of his kitty cats, and how it almost made HIM gag like Tom recently.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“You’re in the moron minority.”
“You haven’t killed your first animal yet.”
“I remember the first time I saw shrimp.”
“I would invite you into the Triple-C Club.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #180

Paul — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 20:47:02 +0000

Tom wants to get out of his mental rut, but Paul thinks using a food metaphor is a bad start. The show starts with “Family Feud” talk. Tom thinks it’s the best game show ever. Paul does the math on Richard Dawson’s age. Tom feels you’re lucky to live long enough to get old.

Plus: Digging ditches isn’t so bad, and are you a movie Watcher, or a movie Owner?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“First of all: I hate pie.”
“Scott Swan for the win!”
“I despise the dog whisperer.”
“Name an animal with three letters in its name.”
“We’ve got a show to do-we can’t wait for your marriage.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #179

Paul — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 02:23:20 +0000

P&T #179 starts with Michael Jackson and then goes in several different directions. Just Press Play for about 45 minutes of free-form fun. Bon Bons begat Married With Children which begat In Living Color which begat Jim Carrey who (by way of a Duck Factory) begat the Labor Day Telethon which begat All In The Family which begat the Time Life Books that were delivered to a house in Brookville Indiana. The boys mock mockumentaries and wonder if major surgery is enough to get you “Dancing With The Stars.”

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Oh good-more high school angst!”
“You needed some time off from not doing anything.”
“I have no idea why anyone thinks Jerry Lewis is funny.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #178

Paul — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 03:06:07 +0000

Paul & Tom #178 has all the proper elements: a surreal opening, a serious chat about a stark subject, and of course, Tom talking about fast food. Let’s throw this zesty mix into a crock pot and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. Season with Paul’s take on 9/11 coverage and Tom’s take on take & bake.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“She’s got these chicken breast things.”
“I almost burned my house down trying to cook bacon on the grill.”
“Jesus will return like a thief in the night and so will The Lutheran Hour.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #177

Paul — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:10:30 +0000

A discussion of TV wrestling “back in the day” leads to a discussion of classic WTTV Channel 4. Tom thinks it’s the most interesting part of the Poteet Timeline. Return with us to the thrilling days of Sammy Terry, Cowboy Bob, and Weatherman Paul. Hear the story of his first exposure to a computer mouse! Did he eat from the Apple? How much money did he make as Mister 80′s Weatherman? And why does Tom care about Rear Wheel Drive?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I’m bursting with riboflavins.”
“A lot of people smash when they wipe.”
“”Who knows what goes on in that dark chocolate factory?”"

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #176

Paul — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 23:24:29 +0000

Tom’s called on the carpet. Or is it TO the carpet? Paul finds the cleaning constellation of Tom’s OCD universe the most appealing. He may let him do his rug someday.

Tom also slips in some new catch phrases to take the place of “here’s the thing.” Paul is not impressed. There’s also the story of P&T’s night of homoerotic role-playing on a famous Prairie.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I have hyper-focus.”
“I love Pee Wee, too!”
“They’ve got to re-tinker to get back to pre-tinker.”
“For the first time in my life I have found a tar remover that works.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #175

Paul — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 19:39:28 +0000

TD3 as CC to MJ’s PYT? LOL! This episode features Tom’s size 15 dancing shoes, and Paul’s moves like Jagger. Or is it Metallo?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“What’s funnier than man marinara?”
“It’s the worst crap that ever crapped.”
“Tom Davis has gotta not mingle dot com.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #174

Paul — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:42:00 +0000

Tom puts on his Dad Jeans and goes shopping for wheels. It involves one month, three states, and several counter-offers. We report; you decide: did he get taken? It’s not a Ferrari or a Porsche, so Tom’s heart is broken, but they DID fill it up.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“We need third row seating.”
“Those tv days are behind me.”
“They look like mushrooms with feet.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #173

Paul — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 18:21:44 +0000

We discover Paul knows a thing or two about coin-operated television, whether it’s in a Motel 6 in the 70′s or a Greyhound Bus Station in the 80′s. And speaking of Greyhound buses, one of them lost a load of something… from a bull this week. We have team coverage, which spills, if you will, over into vasectomy talk. Once again: Memory Lane for Paul. BONUS: Tom defines “creeters,” and “tough guys.”

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Perhaps this a reverse Carl Lewis.”
“They assume I’m living on a pig farm.”
“Three blocks and three dead bodies.”
“This is literally the grossest episode we’ve ever had.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #172

Paul — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 20:53:37 +0000

Talk about “The Talk” leads to the Paul & Tom View of television these days. Hot Topics: Big Brother bananas, Bob Jenkins, Tic Toc, and Julie Chen’s egregiously fake eyelashes. Bonus Tense Moment: Paul corrects Tom’s latest grammar faux pas.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“This Leah Remini, she’s a spit fire.”
“Every guy on Big Brother has six pack abs.”
“Is that your plan to get back on television?”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #171

Paul — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:56:56 +0000

A listener “cringes” whenever Tom says “resin.” Paul cringes over an entirely different example of Brookville Grammar. Tom cringes when he’s forced to sleep with the crickets, which is just as bad as sleeping with the fishes. That happens because the kids are sick. Tom is sick also, and sick of not sleeping at night, and being forced to nap during the day. Paul wonders if he’s in “nap sync” with the little ones.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Space Age Polymers?”
“I have a Ninja outfit or two.”
“Cricket resin in between your toes.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #170

Paul — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:58:15 +0000

What a drag it is getting old, right? What is your limit? When do you sign off? Paul and Tom consider when you should retire. When You’re 64? Turns out, love isn’t ALL you need. Cash is always handy, even if you’re a Rock Star.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I live in a twirling prison of misery.”
“What kind of a man opts-in to cloth seats?”
“I don’t see Mick Jagger driving up to the Mug ‘N Bun on the west side.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #169

Paul — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 18:55:34 +0000

Listener Wendy follows up on chasing your dream. Paul and Tom have some more advice. But it’s not all News You Can Use. There’s also the Al Green Motel, a suspicious looking mustache, Paul’s dry Cabernet, and Tom’s nerve-wracking first meal at a bar.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Why have you not sat me down and taught me about wine?”
“”I thought Obama had de-funded the train car to the moon.”
“Whatever you think you think you don’t think after you have thunk it for awhile.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #168

Paul — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:23:56 +0000

Paul has a revealing exchange with a viewer in a post-running-race locker room. Tom feels this is another reason to avoid humans in general, and especially ones who might be mutually naked. And especially if you can’t take a soapy, effervescent shower. Tom feels Paul got naked for no reason.

Paul’s always bumping into people; Tom’s always bumping into cops or cars. We get a follow-up on the recent rear-ending.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I love you.”
“What’s the opposite of shrinkage?”
“There is that moment of naked Paul…”
“It’s gotta rub off at some point, like Carl Lewis.”
“I know what its like to shop around for insurance.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #167

Paul — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:13:07 +0000

Tom now understands what Paul meant about the difference between having one kid and having two. But it’s not just the children that have him Bushed. He’s still batting landscaping cleanup, trying to steal home with a broken cart, after buying more rocks from a stony store clerk.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Does a guy get smart at some point?”
“Teething! That’s a tough nut to crack.”
That’s the word for the day – wheel wells.”

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Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding!

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target="_blank">Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #166

Paul — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 02:10:57 +0000

Tom wants to know how and why Paul ever became Mister Weatherman, and he exposes Paul’s “Tripod Strategy.” Also: Thomas Davis III updates the Thomas Davis IV name situation. It appears Mrs. Thomas Davis III has been “gimping the nickname process.”

RANDOM QUOTES:
“My Father was a Suffix.”
“Thank you for looking past my deformities.”
“As a child, I dreamed of my Hare Chevrolet endorsement.”

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #165

Paul — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:09:03 +0000

Tough Questions: Did Carl Lewis really go for a “milk shake” before a big run? Is getting drinks at Frys worse than getting Hot Dogs at Sams? How does it all stack up next to Service Merchandise? And did Paul really work at S Merch during Christmas in the 80′s? Did Tom get through an entire day wreck-free? Does Paul like it with skin on the tips? What is Sea Salt, anyway?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Costco is the snooty Sam’s.”
“I’m keeping a constant watch on my midriff.”
“I’ve got joy in my heart, because I’m one of a kind.”

SPONSORED by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding!

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #164

Paul — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 16:00:43 +0000

Paul takes a hard line on kids screaming in restaurants, and we find out how Tom passed his first Tantrum Test recently. Tom also invents a new word, and has yet ANOTHER brush with the Law. FOOTNOTE: Feet are back.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Fried ice cream and fish tacos?”
“You’re a person of basic civility.”
“Your show is positively memorable.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #163

Paul — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 02:14:35 +0000

In honor of the Heat Wave: a special HOT AND STEAMY episode. The story of a naughty couple in a Connersville Indiana pool leads to a discussion of Paul & Tom’s biggest (smallest?) body problems. WARNING: Foot fetish talk is back. The whole nine yards (ten toes?): Talon Toe, Surgical Toe Correction…it’s all there.

There is some hot talk about classic conspiracy theories also. It isn’t just white trash in the water, it’s fluoride.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Mommy, why are they wrestling?”
“Here–you can have some of mine.”
“They come in all forms of deformity.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #162

Paul — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 00:27:29 +0000

Once again TD3 has done something that may cost him Down The Road, in a brand new P&T Show. Hear the blow-by-blow straight from Mad Tom: The Road Warrior. Episode 162 actually starts with Paul’s Weather, and moves on to Traffic. Wonder if there’s a future in that format?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“In the four-banger, you’re not apt to pass people.”
“He’s always boiling, no matter what the Heat Index is.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #161

Paul — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 15:07:55 +0000

Tom talks Trash in 161, as he does play-by-play on the death of two close friends. The topic is dirt, rust, and humanity, and we brought a clip:

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I was black. Now I’m back to pink.”
“I’m kinda out of the truck business.”
“The last thing I wanna do is die fat.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #160

Paul — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 03:23:30 +0000

The boys talk about sleeping. And over-sleeping. And sleeping in. Paul notes there’s a lot of Social Media chatter about insomnia. Both of our hosts are early risers. Tom doesn’t like people who sleep in, and Paul can’t believe Tom never went through such a phase as a teen. Paul reveals his special “90 minute sleep cycle” theory.

Working overnights can mess up your sleep. A young Tom rescued a fellow DJ once in the middle of the night in the middle of a radio station. A young Paul fended off in-person late night requests for Molly Hatchet at WFBQ’s studios.

Speaking of falling, a guy fell to his death recently at a ball park, confirming Tom’s hatred of Big Sports. But Paul thinks Craigslist could pose more danger, given recent news stories.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“He was very imposing for a 7 year old.”
“You’ll never be the dancer you wanted to be.”
“I don’t pee standing up. It’s too dangerous, it’s too messy, it’s too much pressure.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #159

Paul — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:53:28 +0000

When does one fully accept who one is? And who is this “one” anyway?

Here’s the thing: Tom Davis has a friend who wants to be Steve McQueen. Paul Poteet thinks he might sorta kinda be Steve McQueen, but Tom thinks he’s the McKing Of Wishful Thinking.

We discover Paul is not very good at Casey Anthony talk. Tom thinks it’s because he’s a monster. Paul figures there will be another Trial Of The Century within a year, so maybe he’s pacing himself. The show does close with other crime news: A man tries to kill his wife with a home made electric chair, and a woman blames domestic abuse on a radio station’s request line.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“I was a foreman on a murder trial.”
“You’re talking full-on, Lucy-Ball-ing?”
“It was like Dawson’s Creek. Only it was Davis’ Lake.”
“Seeing you with a hair dryer near the bath tub would not cause alarm.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding.

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #158

Paul — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 20:42:03 +0000

Hypothetical: if Tom Davis is having dinner with friends, what Topic is going to cause controversy? Weight, weight, don’t tell me! Turns out Tom has a low tolerance for talk of his high metabolism, but it all evens out. His brain isn’t fat either!

RANDOM QUOTES:
“What do you call a bunch of bees? Not a herd, right?”
“I’ve been really sweating a selection of sunglasses for the last 2 weeks.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding.

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #157

Paul — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:41:31 +0000

Would YOU pay to see a radio personality? Is Paul too defensive when defending Dave Smiley? Is Tom just a “whiny, jealous moron,” as a listener suggests? The simmering Tom Davis/Dave Smiley showbiz feud marches on. But don’t worry: the P&T format isn’t just talking top 40 radio DJ’s. Tom also Rocks out with his pebbles out. In front of his house. And just what IS floating in that hot tub, anyway?

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“You’re a funny little fellow.”
“Everyone else has more green than you do.”
“That’s a nightmare. That’s a germ nightmare.”
“What kind of circumference are we talking about?”

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #156

Paul — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 02:53:01 +0000

Tom was in a TV band and it didn’t work out, much like Vinny Vincent in KISS. Vinny’s house was searched by the cops over the weekend. Vinny apparently kept dead dogs in sealed containers. This leads to a discussion of pet funerals, which leads to the revelation that Tom is re-thinking cremation. Paul is still for it.

No one’s putting Facebook in a container yet, but Paul thinks Google could slowly MySpace it. Oh, and a large person bothered Tom in a restaurant, which Paul considers a “dog-bites-man” story, as opposed to a “man-seals-dog-in-a-container” story.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“The goog is not to be taken lightly.”
“Because of the strong odor of an intoxicant about her person.”
“Your father and grandfather were killing animals left and right all the time.”

SPECIAL NOTE:
There was an un-identified audio problem in the production of this particular episode. It sucks! It won’t happen again.

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #155

Paul — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 19:21:04 +0000

Before Tom Davis got real — he had a snappy radio name, which you’ll discover in episode #155. Also: Breaking the Couric Silence, Al Gore Family Planning, and a trip to the Suicide Store! Cameos from Justin Timberlake and Ronnie Milsap.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Those girls in broadcasting, they’re so cute!”
“That situation turned me into the nothing that I am today.”
“You can go to my web site: N’sync lover dot com.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

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THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #154

Paul — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:33:35 +0000

Tom TRIES to Keep On Truckin’ but there are technical difficulties everywhere. Leaks in the Warehouse, a crotch full of 87 octane, and Double Truck Trouble. Who knew the Great Battle of his life would be “truck rust?” Paul, of course, rides clean in the Hare Chevy Storm Chasing Malibu. Which goes both forward AND backward. You should listen, even though we discover Tom doesn’t actually listen to the show anymore.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“That was risen resin.”
“I have gasoline on my ding dong!”
“What is a Tom Davis anyway? Why do i care?”
“The rust in my truck is like the rust in the my heart.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #153

Paul — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 14:49:14 +0000

Dave Smiley turns 40 this weekend, and becomes a topic on #153 with Paul & one of his other partners, Tom Davis. Paul speaks of his life on a Lonely Radio Island for a few months just before Smiley came to town. You might be able to make it out underneath all the ice-chewing and tinkling. Just for the record: Paul is not drunk in this episode. And just for the record, Tom’s not jealous of Smiley. Just his career.

Plus: Did you know there was such a thing as “Diet Tab?” And: We Banter, You Decide. Powerade or Lemonade? Game Show Host or Conqueror?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Get rid of Paul…see what happens.”
“She was Costco before Costco was cool.”
“There’ll be tons of idiosyncratic imitators.”
“You’re the one guy keeping that Minute Maid on tap.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #152

Paul — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 19:24:25 +0000

Can you be an entertaining phony? Tom lays down some comedy law to Paul in Episode #152. Plus: What goes through your mind when you wake up in the middle of your own funeral? Is it like the feeling Tom had during a recent radio newscast meltdown?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“He’s incredibly filthy.”
“It wasn’t my cup of tea.”
“What’s your flavor? There are all types.”
“Some of my best friends are black comedians.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #151

Paul — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 19:24:17 +0000

P&T talk comedy clubs and who gets to decide what’s funny in the USA 2011, when everybody is always watching everyone else. Is Tracy Morgan a modern day Lenny Bruce or a more-recent-day Mel Gibson? Funny we should ask. Or is it funny? Who knows? We are going to let you listen without signing a waiver first. Then, the Boys leave the politics of humor and head right for religion. An Amish man is accused of sending explicit text messages to an underage girl. Does the whole “W82TXT” thing apply if you’re on a horse?

Next show we promise: just slapstick! Maybe Tom will talk about feet. Paul will do some quick and clever (and PG-rated) wordplay, we’ll take a pie in the face, and call it a night.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Bran Shards, Musilex…”
“The entire world is like this big, gossipy small town.”
“Life is on the record now. There’s no place left to hide.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #150

Paul — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 23:14:23 +0000

This episode is an accident you can’t turn away from. Tom tells a story about what he killed, and how he killed it. But exactly what was it? Paul once created carnage with a lawn mower. And the recent death of a “Jackass” has The Boys wondering: Do you deserve a scorn-free life?

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Hi, I’m Kato, and I’m high on drugs.”
“As soon as I die I’m gonna be a saint.”
“Maybe I’ll kill you accidentally someday.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #149

Paul — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 02:47:14 +0000

Wanna buy a TV station? The Boys have discovered there is one apparently for sale. Paul’s found a story of a lawyer gone crazy over people’s parking, and believes it is a preview of Tom’s future. Also: Paul reveals the location of his one and only Public Vomit. Bonus: Tom’s “snowsuit incident” story.

RANDOM QUOTES:
“There is no hope for the world.”
“I’m sick and tired of dealing with string.”
“I’ve always said you were a gator blade.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW #148

Paul — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 18:21:13 +0000

Paul has a question: “What would you wait four hours for?” Tom’s explanation of his day at Kings Island takes almost as long as the lines for the roller coasters. Blame it on Global Warming, the Summer Of Wiener, and “Satchel Guy.”

RANDOM QUOTES:
“Gift card? You disgust me.”
“He’s my kind of end-of-the-world lover.”
“It’s 87…you’re not on the surface of Mars!”
“Give your tongue a chance to grow before you pierce it with a piece of metal.”

Today’s Show is sponsored by Hare Chevrolet. It’s also brought to you by Josh Humble Productions, the company behind P&T’s new branding!

**COMMENT here, or paulandtomshow@gmail.com, or on Paul’s Facebook, Tom’s Facebook, or Paul’s Twitter.

**SUBSCRIBE to the Paul & Tom Show via iTunes, via Email, or via the RSS feed.

THE PAUL & TOM SHOW: 30 MINUTES…

Paul — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:03:24 +0000

Original Paul & Tom Talk takes an episode off, because of a few of Paul’s 521 jobs are getting in the way this week. In the meantime, walk down Memory Lane with the Boys. Enjoy 145 episodes in about 30 minutes. It’s all in here, from the Winter Of Wood to Feet to Resin to McDonalds. You’re Welcome!